Little,
You are asleep on me right now while I watch TV and eat Halloween candy. Your daddy works nights right now so you and I have the bed to ourselves. You sleep with me every night. Everyone tells me not to do that, but you are just so darn cute. Plus you wake up ever 2 hours to eat (If you wanted to sleep through the night, I'd be okay with that...just so you know)
You are almost 6 months old. It. Is. Crazy. Why do you grow so fast???????? STOP! I am so scared that tomorrow I am going to wake up, and you will be walking out the door on your way to college.
It is weird how happy I am. I am one of those people that is never really satisfied with life. And let me tell you. That's no way to be, chick-a-dee. You gotta be happy with what you got. You may have acne, a big butt, an awful job, an annoying mom (well, you don't have to worry about that...) but you have to find a way to be okay with it all. Because this is life. This is it. The good days and the bad days. They all count. You have to find a way to be okay with every day of your life so you don't live in regret.
Much of my young life, I wanted to be something other than what I was. I wanted to be tanner, more popular, braver, etc. Now I have you and I realize how silly all that was. None of that matters. All that matters is how true you are to yourself. Embrace yourself, and anyone that doesn't appreciate that can go suck a lemon.
What else is on my mind?
Well I'm trying to get back to doing stand-up. I may be a busy mom, but I still gotta follow my passions. I am also working at a day care right now. I bring you with me every day, and your surprisingly not miserable there. You pretty much hate other people most of the time (except for me and your dad, of course.) You aren't one of those social babies. You know what you like and what you need and feel no need for any other nonsense (aka other people). I respect that, but I don't want you to be too antisocial. It makes life harder. Trust me. The happiest days of my life I put myself out there and let others in. The fluidity of life. Shutting yourself off never works out.
Why do all these blog posts turn into lessons?
BECAUSE I WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE EASY! I do! I want to hand you all my mistakes and life lessons so you don't have to hurt ever.
But I know that isn't reality. You are going to mess up. You are going to experience pain. And you need to. It will make you a bad-ass.
Sorry for cursing.
I love you. So. Much.
Mommy
ps. you have a sweet mohak
