Happy Merry Christmas!

Little!

First off,  Happy Merry Christmas! (That's how you say it.) Today was your 3rd Christmas, but it was your first  with your baby sister! You had a wonderful day! You love love love Christmas. You love presents, obviously, but you are so sweet because you always said thank you after every gift you opened (and there were a lot of gifts. The grandparents spoiled you, as they should). You are finally starting to understand Santa. It's still a bit confusing to you that a big fat guy brings you presents while you're sleeping and there are flying reindeer involved, which isn't surprising because that sounds really weird. But you get really excited by the whole idea of Christmas. Your big present was a Thomas train set, and you loved it.

So it has been a while since I've written. I have been very busy since having your sister. Two little girls can create a lot of work for a mommy, but I have loved every moment. Seeing you be such a sweet big sister has brought me so much joy. You are only two and a half and yet you are so loving and patient (most of the time...) and willing to to share your life with this small thing that eats and cries all the time. Before Penelope, you had me all to yourself all day, basically, and then all of a sudden, I have this very needy creature that takes up a lot of my time, and yet you are so understanding. You are a remarkable little girl. You are freaky smart. You speak so well and understand concepts so well. It's a bit scary. You are also so respectful. You have such a genuinely kind heart. You actually amaze me. And I'm not just saying this because I'm your mom. People tell me all the time how sweet and polite and smart you are. I could not be prouder.

Right now you are obsessed with ballet. You listen to Tchaikovsky all day and twirl around. You watched a documentary (yes, a documentary. Not a kids show but a boring documentary) about ballet with me one night while I lay in bed with you and since then you have been hooked. You have watched that movie dozens of times and you mimic the ballerina's dance moves. It's incredible. You are a very disciplined 2 year old,I must say.

Except when it comes to potty training. You understand how to use the potty perfectly, and yet you refuse to do it. It is of no interest to you. You have too much Tchaikovsky to dance to. You can't be bothered with pooping in a toilet. So that kind of sucks for me, but in every other way, basically, you are exceptional so I can handle some potty training woes.

You have major sass at times. When you decide you are pissed (which usually happens when you are tired), you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Your tenacity is both admirable and completely infuriating. I actually spanked you once, which I didn't think I would ever do. But you drove me to madness ( plus I was tired too...) and I spanked you. You freaked out and forbid me to enter your room. When I did, you wailed and hid from me. I felt awful. I left you alone. It took at least an hour for you to calm down enough to let me in. Finally I got you sane and then you hit Penelope later for pulling your hair ( one of her favorite hobbies). I realized right then that spanking you wouldn't work and wasn't right. You pick up on things so quickly and emulate me so much that I really have to watch myself with you. You make me work hard to be a better mother.

I need to go to bed. I love you so much Little. You make me a better woman. I'm proud of you. You aren't perfect (because no one is) but you are perfect for me. I will always see you that way.

Love,
Mom

Some more Little Lessons and a 21 Month Check-in

Little!

     Hey sweet girl. I just wanted to check in really quick with you. You are now 21 months old. As of today, actually. Crazy! You will be two soon, which is incredibly dumb. Just yesterday you were just a wad of pooping and crying cuteness. Now, though, you walk, talk (really well for your age, if I may say so), dance (of course), sing, and let's not forget, fight back. You are now old enough to resist and fight when you don't want to do something. It's.... cute? Sometimes it is a little adorable and slightly hilarious to watch you throw a tantrum that ends with you flailing yourself to the floor and repeating the word "no" over and over and over and over and over again. Sometimes, though, it's stressful and I just roll my eyes and let it happen.

LIFE LESSON TIME! YAY! So, first off, there will be times in our lives together that you will, for lack of a better phrase, piss me off. And I will snap at you, probably. Or I will roll my eyes and ignore you. And you will get mad at me, and we will argue, and there will be tons of stress and you may even think to yourself (or you may even say to me), "I hate you, mom!" And while that will devastate me in that moment, I understand that you and I will have our differences. We will not always agree. You will not always just follow me around and adore everything I do like you do now. Sometimes you won't like me, but know that I will always love you and you have to always love me, whether you like it or not, because I birthed you and you took a really long time to come out so you owe me.

Plus I'm awesome, so it's hard not to love me. Right? No? Yeah?

Second life lesson, don't eat out of the trash can. You just grabbed a cereal bar that you threw away and took another bite.... I mean... It was on top and in a wrapper so it's not as bad as it could have been, I guess. But, still... just... don't do that.


Ok. Enough life lessons for today. I love you, Little. You've given my life purpose and meaning and limitless love, and for that I will always be grateful.



Love always,
Mommy

A Little News

Little!


You are 17 months at this moment, and you are sitting next to me on the couch in our little apartment begging me to watch you favorite show "DABBA!" or "Yo Gabba Gabba" in adult language. It is 7am here. You decided to wake up at 6, which I guess is okay. So we are just having some Mommy-Madelyn time before Daddy wakes up.

What should I catch you up on?

Well, you are speaking so very well for your age. Some of your words include: please, thank you, night   night, more, outside, kitty, dog, snack, treat, water, yo gabba gabba, shoes, socks, hot, diaper, butt-paste (it's like a diaper rash cream), cheese, keys, blocks, bye bye, hair, nose, Mimi, Papi, and of course Mama and Dada. I'm sure you know more words, but that is all I can think of right now. It's still too early for me to be thinking!

You love shoes. LOVE shoes. You love Ingrid, our kitty. You still dance on-call. It's pretty hilarious. And overall you are such a dang sweet little girl. You always say please ("peas") when you want something. You grab my hand and pull me where you want to go saying, "peas! peas!" all the way. So cute.

What else?

Mimi and Papi took you and me to our favorite beach last week. Dad couldn't go because he had to work. While we missed your dad, you had so much fun. You are finally old enough to appreciate the beach. You would constantly bring Mimi your bucket and tell her to go get you some water. You like being the boss. (I do, too :) ) We also tried Paddleboarding for the first time. Well, I did. You are still a little small, but you liked sitting on the Paddleboard while Mimi, Papi, or I let the waves crash onto you.  You are quite the beach baby. So cute.

One big piece of news I suppose I should catch you up on: You are going to have a little brother or sister soon! Mommy is 3 months pregnant. Pretty crazy stuff! I am very excited, but I am very nervous to have another baby because I don't want you, my precious Little, to feel neglected. You and I are used to spending all of our time together. We do everything together. I know that another little one will just add to the fun and love in our life, but it is still scary since we have never had two kids!

My advice for the day: Cherish your sibling. In life, you will, of course, always have your father and I and you can tell us anything, but sibling love is something special on its own. Since you will be so close in age, you guys can understand what each other is going through sometimes better than your old Mommy and Daddy. We don't always mean to be old and clueless, but sometimes we will be.

Also, since you will be the older sibling, it is your responsibility to help your younger brother or sister in life. Being an older sister is a tremendous joy. I know because I am your Uncle B's big sister. Sometimes it gets difficult because you want to be his or her friend, but you know that he or she is doing something stupid and you should probably try to prevent it. You can't be the boss of your sibling, but hopefully you guys will be so close that you will be able to talk openly and lovingly about serious, and sometimes even awkward topics.

As our family grows, you have more people to love and help you through life. So, I hope you are excited, too. You will love having a sibling. Okay... sometimes you will hate it. You will fight like angry demons, but even so, you will end up with a friend who knows you better than anyone. It's totally worth the silly fights and pestering that siblings cause sometimes.

Ok. This post is long and, I fear, boring. I'm distracted by Yo Gabba Gabba and by my own exhaustion. Oh well. I love you love you love you. You will be an amazing big sister because you are already an amazing, loving little girl.

Here are some pictures! YEAH!

Love always,

Your Mommy

Girly Girl

This is how dang cute you are at 15 months old. Mimi likes to buy you pink things. You love purses and shoes. "Shoes" was one of your first words, and you now know how to put them on. You are definitely a girly girl. For now, at least. I love it! I love you no matter what kind of girl you are, though!

Oh yeah. Beach stuff.

OH yeah. We went to the beach last week. You loved it. LOVED it. You ate a lot of sand, which was awkward but cute. 

Whatever you are, be a good one.

Hey Little,
  So you are almost 13 months old. You are at one of the cutest moments in your life, so far. You laugh and talk (your own little language, that is) and point and dance and walk and fall all the time. You constantly move and make your presence known, and I would not have it any other way. It's so entertaining.

I have something on my mind, and this is it: When you grow up, I want you to be smart. It's important to be impulsive sometimes and fun sometimes and goofy sometimes and even a little ridiculous sometimes, but it is VERY important to be smart. What kind of smart? I'm talking smart with your life plans. I'm not telling you that you have to have this huge elaborate life plan that involves you making tons of money. I'm just saying that it is very important for you to have your own life and your own money and your own passions and your own beliefs that do not depend on another person. I am at a point in my life where I do not have stable income without your father. Luckily, I love your father so I'm not worried about losing him or his financial support. I still wish, though, just for my own sense of self-worth that I had my own career and my own money (that I would share with your father, as he shares with me, of course). I believe a woman should be able to support herself, even if she is married, in case something were to happen to her husband or if something happened in her marriage. Women should be just as self-reliant as men. We are just as smart. Just as hardworking. And we deserve to experience the fulfillment that comes from being self-sustaining. I just hope that you will be smarter than I was and be financially stable before starting a family. While being your mother is by far the most rewarding thing I have ever done, I sometimes wish I could give you more. I want to be a great mother and great role model, and to be a great role model I feel I need to lead by example. I want you to be successful (in whatever path you choose) and I believe you need to see a woman doing her own thing and being the best at it. Your Mimi is a great example of that, but even she got started in family life a little too soon and it's taken her longer than I want it to take you to find your career path.

Basically, I'm saying I want you to be a Bad-A B ("bad-ass bitch") and not depend on a man. And I hope you find a man when you are ready who will, like your father, be willing to work ridiculously hard to give you the life you want. I just hope you won't need a man. Is that making any sense?

Ok. I should go.

I love you. So much.

Be strong.
Be the best you can be.

Love,
Mommy

A little wisdom

Sometimes it's better to listen than talk. That's a hard one for me.